I just spent an hour correcting all the grammar and spelling of all the 2pac songs on my ipod
I puked in the cab and in my hair and he didnt even know
He is drunkenly eating my teddy grahms and making little growling noises as he bites the head off of each one.
I just wanted to clarify that I am not bisexual and had no intentions of ACTUALLY penetrating my roommate with a can of bugspray.
A man and his most likely hooker just bought us Taco Bell.
Just remember, if we get caught, you're deaf and I don't speak English.
And I told him that even though were not together, if he has sex with anyone I would have sex with someone else, video tape it and send it to him.
She actually purred while I was balls deep in her! I have never been so proud to buy plan b at 6:30 in the morning.
I swear, when I turn 21 in four months, I'm going to carry a flask around with me, and make a drinking game out of everything.
Please tell me how the stripper got back to Sarah's from the trailer park
Had a rough day but my boyfriend made that all better by going down on me while letting me watch Top Gear... I'm buying the engagement ring tomorrow
The usual, icing my vag with a chimichanga.
You’re like one of those doomsday preppers, but for your vagina
We fucked on the roof... like that has to mean something
Just got an email from match.com trying to match me with My ex..I nearly pissed myself laughing
Randomize
