Ok im wearing a joe flacco jersey and full stick on unibrow and hardly anyone else dressed up omg
Omg suz!! take the unibrow off
No! im just getting hammered instead
I wonder how skeet ulrich feels about the skeet skeet phrase and and what it denotes.
She just sucked the buffalo sauce out of my beard. I've never been so disgusted and hard in my life.
It is a special kind of bonus when you find money you hid from yourself when you were drunk in the tampon box. What did we do last period?
MASS TEXT: Lets start a new tradition. Black Friday log pic contest. I'm waiting.
Want to run by the liquor store later? Tequila Youn should really be in attendance at Party Mountain. No one else could be our spirit animal.
You wanna get laid? Be a female for once and stop bending nails to impress guys.
You tried to get the Waffle House waitress to put a candle in your cheesy hash browns.
I think if my mom ever finds out about my nipple piercings I'll just be like "mom, tbh it's a sex thing"
i'm pretty sure you can't sue someone for "Taking a shit on my kitchen floor."
I did stay at work til 5 but for the last hour I was just taking naked pics on my desk for some tinder guy
If I die it's either cuz I undercooked my burger or because I used questionable cheese. I have no pants on, so if there's a wellness check, you go in first.
OMFG. JUST WALKED IN ON A DUDE JERKING IT IN THE MCDONALDS BATHROOM
Stall or urinal?
HOLY SHIT HOLY SHIT HOLY SHIT HOLY SHIT
So I just ran in to the Couger you saw me take home last month who i haven't talked to since then at Wawa and she was PISSED.. APPARENTLY i fucked her niece last week
I love how when he said ecstasy pills both of our heads whipped around like a couple of horned owls.
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