Having dinner with my dad, watching the news and some AIDS prevention ad comes on. My dad then kindly informs me that he doesn't enjoy the feel of condoms.
got some bad news about ur virginity. she didnt make it thru the night
the 3rd commandment: and god said, if you buy a handle.. you must finish it.
I sat down with you and helped you write your will last night. I was THAT convinced that you weren't waking up.
come on don't hate me. your brother looks just like you its almost a complement that i had sex with him.
The amount of 12yr olds downtown right now boggles the mind. I can thank taylor swift for a glimpse at my future 3rd wife.
I just wanted to yell " i am not a shake weight!!"
When I realized it was a dog, and I still had a boner, it was awkward.
On the bright side, nobody died. Please bring me back my left shoe. I have work in an hour.
I found a sock full of anal beads in my dryer. At least she washes them.
When I eventually hook up with a resident lets refer to it as taking a hands on approach to my job
N.C. cops just used a megaphone to tell me I have a slutty outfit. My life is complete.
Can we just smoke a few bowls and eat grilled cheese while drunk in our hotdog suits at 9am ?
Floor bacon is actually really good
Thank you, BTW, for defiling my bed. Glad it was done well.
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