Once you see the odd facial expressions and noises a guy makes while he is furiously beating off on top of you, it kind of puts things into perspective.
I wish I loved anything like you love Tequila.
you called to congratulate me on being the reason you lost never have i ever
I just watched a video of Justin Bieber kissing a girl..... the sad thing is that I actually got upset.
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But i don't feel like talking to him right now. I woke up an hour ago to a picture of his penis and I AM NOT A MORNING PERSON.
i can't believe he threw up on you. Well thats what you get for being DD. I used the sombreros as a shield!
No one ever gets any after sleeping with her. She is like the broken mirror of hookups, enjoy 7 years of blue ball. Don't say I didn't warn you
Everyone heard you scream that I was to be naked, in your bed in 5 minutes. We were one hell of a shitshow spectacle
Also I owe you 20 bucks, a clean towel and a glass of scotch. I'll even throw in a blow job
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Do you ever just feel like you can feel hormones radiating from your uterus?
High-fiving last weekend's hook up in passing on the way to class has given me quite the lady boner.
be right there i have to get my cape
My hangover headache is somewhere in the Harry Potter scar neighborhood. I can now empathize with that poor bastard.
he made that chewbacca noise when he came. like father like son i guess.
I mean, I was going to use them for a beading project, but I guess I could take one and let you bat my dick around like a cat toy.
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