windsor, ontario is like a poor man's amsterdam
no, it is just poor
It saddens me that girls will never know the wonder feeling of pulling your sweaty nutsack off of your leg.
the truckdriver in the lane next to me just looked down and motorboated in my direction.
my mom just served us mashed potatoes with an ice cream scoop. When I asked her why, she said she thought it would make dinner 'more fancy'...
Man, jail baloney is awful.
We ended up sleeping in the emergency room for safety (you know, well lit, cameras..) and then an ambulance drove us to the train station around 4am. great last night in australia.
we walked around the neighborhood with caution tape tied around our foreheads, making indian noises. I might have disturbed a crime scene to make a native american headdress.
You need to stop blackout tweeting at him to have sex with you on the roof of your dorm. He doesn't even have a twitter.
Trevor is horny so he just called me to tell me all the things that he would like to do with his future wife. That's a new one.
Returning my drunken purchases from last night. Not a single thing I bought was on sale.
I think I maybe realized he was too old for me when I went into his bathroom and he had anti aging face cream.
This is my punishment for trynna have a festive time with a stranger. I always forget you can't get weird with one night stands
You were making out w/ur brothers coach against a door when someone opened it and you both fell through... Then you continued to make out on the ground
They ran out of toilet paper so I used the rug to wipe my vagina
This is what I get for listening to Christians.
Randomize
