Hey, go out with us like you promised. You're younger than us and should be able to handle your coke problem with grace.
TYLER... glimpse of last night: leather chaps, guacamole dip, a jump rope, spray paint, and rhinestone studded pajamas.
i think you have the wrong number... but your story sounds delightful.
Do you ever think that bumblebee is the gay transformer?
Every day of my life.
you left a giant bottle of vodka in my room from last night. does this serve as a parting gift or hush money?
Just saw a dude hanging out a window upside down chugging a 60 of vodka. This weekend is big for everyone I guess
My dry heaving is complicating my ability to speak.
No. I want him to marry me so we can spend our lives together. I also want a to-scale model of his genitals to mount above my fireplace
nope. It turned out i wasnt the drunkest person asleep in tacobell parking lot.
Somehow those two combined like captain planet and shit went haywire
Ok get your liver ready for the weekend. Harry Potter Drinking Game Marathon is a go. BYO liquor of choice, rule cards at the door. I wanna see some Hagrid level drinking out of you, Muggle.
I heard drunk is the new sober. I heard me say that. To a cop. Can you come get me??
The Lion King Is on YouTube
Until 2 minutes ago I actually had a chance to pass my midterms... thanks alot
Are you telling me right now that the weed man sexted you?
THE WEED MAN SEXTED ME!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
So apparently I’m into choking now
Intelligence report: the hot sister called you gross, the sweet sister says you're dumb, and the smart sister says all the other men she knows would have to die for her to hook up with you.
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