having sex with you is like teaching a dog to tango, it DOESN'T work
you were carrying around a glass of vodka telling everyone it was Russian water
I never thought I would say this but I have to clean queso off my vibrator
No longer allowed at circus circus apparently fuvking in the elevator is frowned upon.
What about.....a game of twister and....wait..nevermind. I've hit my cap for sexualizing things today.
Made out with a chick in front of a girl I'm banging and successfully reDENNISed her within 9 hours
Just realized I could have five different dicks in me the day of valentines day but no real date. My life
Didn't think the day of being the oldest in a club would be when I'm twenty one. Even the bouncer looked surprised when he ID me.
I was basically just fingering myself and thinking about space.
Hypothetically speaking, when I get a sugar glider would it be frowned upon to bring it Ito classes with me in m pocket?
We probably shouldn't have humped each other in a stairwell for an hour. that was probably my bad
I paper cut my nipple reading mail topless
the fact that you beer bonged rum made me so proud, the fact that you threw up an entire footlong tuna melt after... not so much babe
I think you threw up on me last night but i can't remember so i'm not mad at you.
I ate at the cafeteria for the first time yesterday and today I think I had an hour long fart.
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