I just won Halloween Walk of Shame Bingo!
Who would have guessed that on my moms birthday she'd have sex with the door open. :(
Looks like breakfast in bed is out the window. She can't get up because I "fucked her into paralysis." My stomach is not happy with my dick right now
I FOUND THE NORMAL CONDOMS. THIS IS GOD TELLING ME TO CHASE AFTER MY DREAM.
cocks speak louder than words, as they say
Nobody says that.
Half way through sex he whispered in my ear, " your the second best I've ever had" then proceeded to tell me to sit on his face.
I did coke with the Royal Navy last night. God save the queen.
How many nights in 2015 can we have no one get injured, run away crying, or get into a brawl?
If there aren't any tits where you are, you're doing it wrong.
Hiking for a first date sounded like a good idea in theory because there was absolutely no possibility of me blacking out. In practice, I'd rather black out than go through what I just went through.
She was topless, yelling this is Sparta, threatening to push her dad into the sewer. I am pretty sure she won't be at school.
she just kept pointing at the cows and calling them field penguins
All three of the bartenders here have screwed my boss, so he's definitely gay. Unfortunately for you he seems to have a type and you're not it.
We're playing drunken roulette. We're taking exlax followed by shots. First person to shit themselves loses!
Look, I know why you're asking me, but just because I'm gay does not make me a wiki on butt sex. Ask a doctor or you know, the internet like everyone else.
Randomize
