i would punch a child for taco bell
Omg just want to confirm: got drunk, naked in street, fucked in bathroom and puked on bart.
I am sleeping on the floor in your room so if you have sex in here just don't roll on me
It's nice to sit in the library and see the progression from freshman pledge to 6th year coke addict all at one table. Gotta love sororities
We'll cross that bridge when we come to it... Or burn it. Either way we'll deal with it later
i've hooked up with him and three of his roommates and not a single one of them knows about it..think its safe to say i found the silver lining in a boys inability to communicate
i understand why you think this is a bad idea but its happening so buckle up an get your whiskey
I wonder if our vaginas are like "o thank god, no strangers breaking in tonight." Baahhhh sooo bad
I think I should start a match.com profile and put "robe lounging" as my only hobby
Im like a hedgehog. Easy to corner or get within reach, but tough to get right close to. Like a rooster with its feathers surgically replaced with razors
When he opened the car door the whole thing fell off. Even that can be forgiven via his monster cock.
I asked her if she could eat some Doritos so when we made out it would taste awesome
Your friends are scaring the cats so I'm going to smoke weed with them to call them down.
He's bringing a lesbian pretending to be his girlfriend to family Christmas. I can not wait to see how this goes.
Wine through a straw in a subway cup.....classy
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