Small Doughy Asian men and sleeveless hoodies with nothing underneath do not mix well.
Sounds like the climatic scene of my favorite erotic novel.
no.. I went home. Puking up hot dogs and lemon tart isn't as lovely as it sounds.
i kind of just want to tell my cleaning lady I'm an alcoholic so it's not awkward when I stumble out of my room to go sit in my car for 2 hours and wait for her to finish cleaning the several empty bottles of wine in my room
I have beard burns on my inner thighs. I'd say last night went pretty well.
she might purposely get aids just to give it to you. I think she might hate you that much.
do you wanna get some fucking pussy tonight.....THEN DRESS LIKE IT
At the bar. Madeline and I totally brought our own pitcher from home because they always run out. Hello alcoholism.
I could only remember yelling "rip it down" as he ninja jumped off the bed, kicked the wall, and superman punched the fire alarm off the ceiling.
I've always wondered why you never put the hotel room in your name...
I WANT MY VAGINA TO POUND AT NICE THINGS.
You said you couldn't look at me because you would have to take off your sunglasses but you can't because they're the "guides to your eyes".
Why are there so many fucking Lambchop puppets hidden around my house?!
so in other words, they broke and fell off and I ate a gummy life saver off of his balls
I mean, I'm shallow, narcissistic, and selfish, but I'm an amazing friend sometimes
i dont think sending her flowers will make her forgive you running over her foot.
At some point you said you just wanted to get laid, so we had a moment of silence for your dead sex life...
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