Really? You have stories that rival having a threesome with the two best friends of the guy your kinda seeing? Thats impressive.
if she leaves who will i have to secretly talk about behind thier back
I am not a stalker...i just bring a whole new meaning to the word love
My body isn't even mad at me...just disappointed
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Have you ever straight up just taken a bite out of a block of cheese? Because it's amazing.
i'm sure the inside of her vag looks like Normandy circa 1944
and yes i had to double check that date for that joke to be accurate
so I'm coping with getting the "I'm not over my ex" bomb dropped on me by getting drunk and yelling at people while wearing a purple princess hat
all I remember is repeatedly winking at the fire marshall while he was counting the people in the bar
You'll have to pretend I'm texting you with buddychecks.
Like the Jimeny Cricket of cockblocks.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Eight drinks in. Subject is fondling chips before eating them. Intoxicated texting has expanded from best friend to random guy I met in FBLA.
PS my house is a mess.
pps I have a rash on my face.
He rubbed aloe on my sunburn while I blew him... could he be anymore perfect?
tried to suck my ex boyfriends dick last night at a bar... Happy homecoming from me to you
I told him I had the birth control implant in my arm and he looked me in the eyes, said "Science!" and came in me
Oh yeah I meant to tell you the Tomb Raider looking girl so crop dusted me on the stairway