im officially scared..,i finally realized who my boyfriend reminds me of! spencer pratt
let me know it goes. try not to get bit. and if you can, get someone to videotape it.
I texted her sayin "I gotta brush my teethn then Im omw" maybe hint to do the same
we were making out and he got up to change his pants. I wonder what would happen if i took my shirt off.
How can people commit suicide when things like bagels exist
Its really not funny anymore. I need to stop shaving while i'm drunk
We were all singing so you said you were going to play a percussion instrument... the crackers.
He had me saved in his phone as "Dick Socket". Lets see if I ever fuck him in a bathroom again.
you tried turning the bar into a spelling b competition last night and every time someone couldn't spell something you would make them chug.
ok. i'm ready for you to come back and test the structural integrity of this futon.
bro i dont care how hot she was, you try keeping it up with the amount of puppet he had in her room, it was like fucking in jeff dunham's house
i projectile vomited shoeless at 7:30 a.m. in a taco bell parking lot. never again.
Dude. Photoshop a Santa hat on your mug shot and send it as your Christmas cards.
I spanked her so hard I woke up Grandma
so then the cop took one last hit off our blunt and then drove off in his car and we just all stood there thinking, yea... that just happened...
Randomize
