if another girl says "im usually cleaner down there" I'm just going to shoot myself
So I got a little fucked up on the punch, and made out with the family friend. Which is apparently morally reprehensible. I don't get that.
Was just grinding with my bio TA. She asked why i wasnt studying
i threw up on the blunt... he was pissed.
i just overheard a girl at the next table saying she gave up sex for lent
don't you ever do that...
I'm home with mono, wearing knee high socks, shorts, a stained old shirt, and a surgical mask. He comes over ANYWAY with soup, a gas mask, billions of DVDs, and eats me out. He's either stupid, whipped, or i'm just THAT good.
I got laid because I told her I play guitar. I haven't played in 7 years and only know a G chord. I love this place.
It really ruins the moment when you have to ask to resend the nude pics.
We're already drunk. 4 hours to go still. And there's a bear advisory. TOP WEEKEND.
How do I know if porn I have watched is haunted?
Me sprinting out of your house without my bra or shoes is our entire relationship defined in a single moment.
Best part about losing weight and not fitting into your pants any longer? They come off quick for chipotle emergencies.
He screamed like a woman when he came then proceeded to sing "you [we] are the champion" by Queen. I think I'm in love.
Im drinking a CAN of bud light at the bar. Do you really think I care anymore?
I might have to quit marching band. It's affecting my drinking schedule
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