whats a polygalesbian?
lesbian polygamists..duh.
I got my nipple pierced! I love it so much!
Well, there goes breastfeeding.
Nothing says "I love you" like a full raw dog.
I'm thinking of having one or both of my boobs out. They're small but they're mighty.
It feels like I shit a light bulb that shattered on the way out.
ew. I made a sandwich, and the cheese reminded me of her vagina
I heard that if you win you get to have sex with me. You guys really need to stop wagering my vagina.
I'm paying a homeless guy $20 to follow me around bars tonight with a boombox playing the theme to Rocky.
She took a break from repeating "my face is still buzzing!" to say that the phantom of the opera could be here
Given he decided my interview was a date, showed up drunk and insisted on carrying me everywhere, we weren't off to a good start.
Do you have paint?
Paint? I wish
OMG WHAT ARE YOU DOING
You know what a wolf looks like when it kills a small animal? How it shakes it around in it's mouth? I did that to a bag of Taco Bell last night
If I could run through a field of Reece's and Oreos, dive off a milkfall into a bowl of cereal. My Life would complete.
If I spent my amateur stripper money does that mean I am cleansed of my sins?
no no no no you can't just say your dirtiest secret is "i sat on goldfish by accident once" and just leave i have QUESTIONS
AT LEAST TELL ME IF THE GOLDFISH WAS STILL IN A BOWL??????????????
Randomize
