Is this a definitive no? All is forlorn? Such is fine, but i'm drunk and a sucker for concrete answers
I feel like I'm back in highscool trying to hide my erections at work
We pulled over so he could pee and the next thing I know he's running down the hill by himself with his pants down
i'm surprised you didn't wake up. like i literally came when he was fingering me as i was spooning with you and all you did was mumble "that's a good idea, mom" and pull the sheets away from me.
the good news is that i vommed the last of my humanity last night.
welcome to the club.
There's a black statue of liberty dancing on the side of the road. Please hold while I join him.
No, I googled it. Apparently, male thongs are the next snuggy and a lot of guys love wearing them for the support.
So we get back to the hotel room and Tom strips off his clothes... His first sexual act as my fiance? Helicopter dick. I gave him a high five.
The trainer from the tech college told me that I would pass the first aid course so long as I turned up sober. Challenge accepted
There was just a girl standing next to me on the train, wasted, wearing only one shoe. I so wanted to pat her on the shoulder and say "oh honey, we've all been there"
Brunch got away from me. I might be a little high.
Was I at least a good cuddler? Like at least honorable mention?
I feel like you're the reason public nudity is illegal and generally frowned upon in society
How do I say "I want to suck your balls" in a classy but sexy way,
You're gonna be sprawled out basking in the sun working on your tan like a ridiculously hot iguana, and I'm gonna be here bundled up in about 72 layers just so I don't freeze my dick off looking like the Michelin man's gay cousin
i apologize, I may have called you an iguana
Mistakes were made
Randomize
