remember when u banged some random dude twice in the back restaurant room of the bar i work at with customers still there? and woke up with an enormous highschool-sized hickey this morning? no big deal.
One of her kids, Dakota I think, got stuck in a ceiling fan and she had a fit, thats when she found the penis hat.
you kept calling numbers in ur phone book and saying, "I love your show, I'm a long time listener, first time caller."
I recommend just blowing him. It's always the way to go.
The main two things I remember from last night is you "spanking Katey into reality" and watching her barf in terror.
You crawled everywhere and rolled in ice cream. No more vodka for a month.
It took all the strength I had tto sit at my desk and not tear off my business attire and run screaming from adulthood and flourescent lights.
We called dibs on each other's genitals. That bond is unbreakable.
Is it frowned upon to bring a flask to the er?
Just thought you should know I'm having a reunion tour of Athens this weekend. Minus the weird guy I was fucking last time.
Turns out I hooked up with a chick who has lupus. I don't know if that's a bucket list thing or not, but it's now on mine. Check.
What happened last night and why am I partially covered in queso?
I just drunk texted the Italian guy and now I’m flooded with Shane. Uh, shame, not Shane. He sounds nice, though.
Seriously, I really just burned my nipple making ravioli.. I'd explain, but no reasoning makes this acceptable:/
He tried to throw up into a beer bottle. It was a complete disaster. Vomit went everywhere. It put the Bellagio's fountain to shame.
Randomize
