Sex on bubble wrap = best decision ever.
i just remebered what i did last night, i asked a homeless man on a bike "hey whatcha doin with that bike, wanna make 5 bucks?" he agreed and then rode me on his handle bars a block away to the next bar.
If it wasnt for my iphone and loopt, I would still be wandering the streets in a drunken stooper. Thanks Steve Jobs.
Its already bleeding so dont be alarmed after you bite it
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a pedometer??? no beatles?Steve jobs just took a dump in CA and it landed on my heart
It's true- you can buy beer at McDonald's in France. I'm not coming back to the States.
Count me out. I seem to have semen induced blindness in one eye.
Well the "Blackout with your sack out" party turned out predictably.
I started rolling down the window so he pulled into a gas station and i puked all over the side of the car while some dude stared at me. I waved and we drove away
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As pissed as she was, you would've thought I was trying to get back into his pants instead of his booze collection.
All I need is a morbidly obese man masturbating at the other end of the car and I'll complete the CTA Horror Trifecta.
Great litmus test for what a useless adult you are: amount of shame you feel while eating a coffee cup of Fruity Pebbles
There’s a special place in hell for tall guys with small dicks
I think my life is a one-way ticket to blackout city.
FYI - Don’t go in the downstairs bathroom. Ryan is passed out naked on the floor with a raging hard on.
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