I know its time to do laundry... i cant even find a dirty sock to wear because they all have jizz in them
Riding home in a carseat. Worst. Night. Ever.
i've decided to use this saturday afternoon to take care of my pube situation
the can pyramid on my head actually reached a decent height before I moved.
The online application for Mcdonald's said I could do incredible things there. Today I threw out shit filled underwear in the women's restroom and escorted a very drunk/high 42 year old man outside after he ordered a 5 dollar foot long and a bloody mary.
The tent wall coming unstaked in the wind and hitting me in the face really sobered me up
Drunk. I slept-stripped.
By myself.
I want him to come over and snuggle with me but put a bag over his head. Is that rude?
It's not rude if you use a pillowcase that's softer.
I still love him regardless of his misguided forays into heterosexuality
She just texted me that she's horny, then started quoted random music, then telling me everything she regrets. I don't think there's enough tequila in the world for me to deal with her...
Dave called me blind fucking drunk thinking he was going to die from drinking with drake bell(wtf?) saying "it's all that drake motherfucker's fault" and later proceeded to tell me "you are my twitter"
idk wtf was in that bud but I was talking to my dead dog last night bro holy shit
What happened?
New Orleans
Every time
my life is turning into trapped in the closet at way too fast a speed for me to feel comfortable.
I know it's going to be a good day because he didn't notice the bite mark on my butt.
Randomize
