please tell me I'm in your upstairs bedroom. Just google mapped myself and I have no idea where I am.
He just knocked over the beer pong table... I haven't seen so much fail in one room since I watched "Mall Cop" with my grandma
These shoes are like walking on sunshine and labias. So soft and squishy
Walk of shaming dressed as a zombie hunter. This hangover feels like the actual apocalypse.
Gregs sitting in the living room in his underwear hitting the bong watching a rob schneider movie. His lack of fuck giving is inspirational
After hearing her fall down in the shower for the third time, I decided to go check on her.
I'll be there in a few.
I'M COUNTING TO FEW.
We created a neighborhood watchdog drinking game
At least I had a $10 coupon for Plan B today. Smart shopping for bad decisions
So you've been sexting me while spending time with your family
I'm a family man but I have priorities
Who else will cuddle and watch the Bachelor with me then finger bang me during the rose ceremony
I told my coworker that I'd get him some edibles because he wants to rekindle his marriage. I'd better get some good karma out of this.
Went as "Party on, Wayne." And left as, "Partied out Wayne in a foot boot with new medical bills." Fuck Halloween...and vodka.
you know your booty call is really trying when he offers to pay the toll for the bridge you have to cross to get to his house
I couldnt face her after that wonderful, terrible blowjob. Made a rope out of towels and climbed out her bathroom window.
Randomize
