Is it bad that your cum tickles when I swallow it?
An alarm set every 45 minutes saying "FATTY" and one every afternoon saying "CASPER" every day until spring break is a foolproof plan to being bikini ready
He walked me home last night across campus while i fed him pasta out of a solo cup at 3 am.
Just caught my first cougar this fake was worth every fucking penny.
I mean I drunk but not enough to handle a Scientology convention
in the middle of fucking he asked me if i had gotten a haircut because he noticed i didnt have split ends anymore. i dont know what to think
All I remember from the concert was leaving in an RV full of middle aged people playing circle of death
And if you ever tell anyone that I have emotions ill kill you
When that bartender tried to tell us he sang like Sade, I knew it was time to go
The memory of your penis haunts me. I must learn to be satisfied with lesser men than you.
I'm trying to be sexual and you're sending me smashmouth lyrics
I shit myself when I came, don't have flu sex
SOMETIMES YOU HAVE TO BLAST VANESSA CARLTON IN YOUR CAR AT MIDNIGHT TO FEEL AGAIN. IDK.
He deliberately gets me high because he knows I fuck better and then I make food for two. I don't know if I should feel mad or proud of him for thinking that far.
He’s perfect! He listens to Genesis during sex and has a VW bus!
You really are from the panhandle, aren’t you?
Randomize
