I love you. I'm too high for this. Find a way. Make it happen. Live strong.
His body is just chiseled out of sex. I would let that man do anything to my body. Including fuck me while my parents watch
Your wedding's just one more day in my life I can't wear sweat pants.
seriously. next time...underwear. I'm not spending any other holiday season wondering if it'll be my last babyless one.
I've carried my liver for over 24 years. If it can't carry me for the next 24 hours than it deserves to be damaged.
I think he is probably a psycho that will eventually murder me but i mean the sex last time was AWESOME.
I made one of my coworkers cheers to me not being pregnant. I've never talked to him before tonight. Keeping it classy.
We go out, we get drunk, we watch Star Wars, we pass out. What's wrong with this tradition?
I don't want to jinx anything but I may have found the one.
Cat or human?
Human
MY GOD DAMN TV STOPS WORKING EVERY TIME I AM THIS FUCKING HIGH. WHY MUST IT TORMENT ME?!
Haha I had a heart to heart with a stripper so I would say it was a success?
She's gonna be mad if she finds out you put weed in her house warming cookies
fuck st louis. fuck their hockey. fuck their basball. fuck their football if they still got it. fuck their tiddlywinks teamm. fuck their ribs. fuck their entire city. what im trying to say is i dont like st louis
Ever try to swallow something and have it go up into your nose instead? Yeah, I just sneezed bacon.
I think the cashier at 7/11 might be planning an intervention for me.
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