I'll collect that couch/porn sloopy beedge tomorrow just FYI
my grandma just informed me that patrick swayze used to babysit my dads cousins why wasn't i informed of this early...like when i was obsessed with dirty dancing!
I'm pissed I'm finding this out at 24 bc i could have used this material to make friends
he sat in the bathtub shirtless yelling in gibberish for 40 minutes. funniest. stoner. ever.
So I have some interesting news. The pizza guy called the cops on me...
Trick or treaters just rang our doorbell
Give them the moldy beer cans, we need to get rid of those
Someday you'll be stoned enough to create a one-person step team and then you'll understand
Just did a relay race involving shotgunning beers, cannonballs and riding a blowup whale. Never want to leave vacation.
Turns out the average person our age has never run from the cops. Life: we're doing it right.
Did you really get 12 corn dogs from the gas station last night?
Don't blame me. My vagina leads me astray.
And for today's main disappontment. I thought I saw a midget with fireworks get on the buss, alas it's a child with cleaning supplies
I dunno what's worse, that one guy here said he'd blow somebody for Tim Horton's right now, or that someone else looks like they want to test his sincerity.
Come get me, I'm fucking scared.
Here's a concept though: eating pasta while getting laid
He had a tattoo of a crown above his penis. He was AMAZING! It was well deserved. LONG LIVE THE KING!
On cleanup... i've counted 94 solo cups so far.. oh, and i found a miniature top hat in the microwave
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