He disabled his match.com account in front of me
That girl really should ne nicer to her vagina. It's not a playground.
Apparently hers is a theme park.
Grow some girl-balls and come out already
When I was her age, Pluto was still a planet... but i said what the hell
Just got an Edible Arrangement my parents sent me for my birthday. Time to marinate some fruit in vodka.
Ok the fact that you know THAT phrase perfectly is terrifying. You just proved you can slut it up in mulitiple languages.
He is now tagging himself in my pics from last year where he is barely visable in the corner. i feel like he's marking his territory.
I don't see how I managed to fuck up so much shit in an hour and a half..
I found three vicadin and a pint of fireball with the note. In case of emergency drink me under their sink.
You're the reason I lose Never Have I Ever
Sometimes I think about the fact that I lost my virginity while watching anime and I wonder what that says about me
Our night has progressed to doing coke off a laundry machine through a parking ticket
Soo I'm in the trunk of a car drunk about to jump on trampolines. My life rocks!
You know that episode of Spongebob where Patrick teaches Spongebob to be fancy? His dick was like that, only fancier.
As long as it's before midnight it's cool. But it would be understandable to ring in my new year shitting myself just before I go to Iraq.
Randomize
