windsor, ontario is like a poor man's amsterdam
no, it is just poor
my head feels like I tried to put alcohol out of business last night
A chick at the bar last night took my black berry, looked at my Brick Breaker score and told me she couldnt take someone that has a lower score than her seriously.
I'm starving. my midnight snack, aka a teaspoon of cum, isn't holding me over
Tell me the dirtiest joke you know
Sarah Palin
god, I love you
Ur gonna wake up early as dick tomorrow to do some responsible shit but im the one up at 3 am right now cooking brats soaked in keystone light so fuck your falling asleep ass bitch
well his nickname is liver of steel so it makes sense that his balls follow suit. tell him i say sorry
i would have thought, that you two being my best friends, one of you would have atleast tried to catch me before i hit the ground after blacking out.
I don't know, Alex. I don't know. I lost my keys, my debit card, my makeup bag, broke my purse, had to have someone cut my shoe off, I have no idea where my costume is. I woke up next to the biggest douchebag I know and made out with this other guy while SIMULTANEOUSLY talking on the phone to the guy I'm talking to...
First of all guys don't have walks of shame. Secondly there is nothing more epic than riding the skytrain in a toga while everyone else is going to work
Incase you were wondering. Cooking naked turns into sex. Sex and cooking may lead to house fire....
Ok, not to minimize the significance of that beautiful anecdote from your childhood, but here's a video of my penis.
Get the fuck in, we're going to Taco Bell.
He was so traumatized by the It's a small world ride but he immediately pulled out a flask from god-knows-where and got drunk before the ride was over. The ride operator didn't blame him.
Let’s be real here. NOTHING says Real Adulting like rolling a J on your line of credit paperwork.
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