I could write a book called "things that come out of my vagina"
if i get the "i'm engaged" text one more time, i'm going to shoot myself in the face so my cats won't eat it when i die alone.
Yeah, it was all fun and games until I realized that it wasn't my tent, and I had no idea who those people were
It's like I paid NJ Transit $33 to suck his dick and go home. Fuck that.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
And I'm PMSing. So if I'm not crying, I'm masturbating.
I gotta stop tellin complete strangers at the bar that they're the godparents to my first born
I may have just flashed my roommate as he walked in while my towel was falling. Now he knows what an American sized penis looks like I suppose
When we were grinding I think your nuva ring fell into my shoe
library dates and plan B? He is looking like a great catch.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Woke up in time for my 8:15
Good for you I'm impressed
I realized 10 minutes in it was a class from last semester
It's 4/20. I'm not too worried about "healthy"
I wanna just rip ass and see his reaction but i bet itd be better to shatter that illusion when hes drunk
it's not like I want to die, I just want life to stop for a little bit. how does that work?
Did you put Adderal in the fishtank in the lobby? The fish are acting like Olympic sprinters. Asshole.
I just want him to get into an accident where he's horribly disfigured but otherwise fine so he's not so freaking handsome
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