Well I thought that next 8 ball would either kill us or turn us into Gods
I can't tell if I miss summer or 5 times a day sex more.
please dont ever try to drink horizontally again. I thought I was going to have to give you cpr
You yelled "GET TO DA CHOPPA" and burst through her screen door and disappeared into the night. With the goose.
and he's drinking a bud lime in his profile pic meaning i can out drink him, meaning i would clearly be the alpha in our relationship
We're both on the slippery slope toward middle age...and really shame riddled bar experiences
You know its going to be a good day when you have to brush your teeth out of a cup in your room using the vodka and water mixture in your fridge because you're locked out of your restroom
Just wanted to let you know it's 3am and, at this point, I believe your sister has more of my semen in her than I do. So suck on that, fuckface.
That awful moment when there is no more beer and you find yourself considering tequila and aloe juice.
Your vagina doesn't want to be violated with garnishes. I get it.
My mom just offered to be my designated driver tonight. I love being an adult.
Wow. The LSU Tennessee game is on here and the LSU cheerleaders are stupid hot. Its weird having a hard on. At a bar. On a Wednesday. By yourself.
If you had a dick, I would hope it falls off and comes back to haunt you while fucking your ears at night. But you don't. But if you did, that's how mad I am at you
I kinda wanna drive through the Gator bar parking lot and seeing if my panties are on they ground, they should be right next to my pride...
We were trying to organize all the customers to hold a window pickle race. as of 10:37 pm last night we are no longer allowed in our McDonalds.
Randomize
