someone get that fucking seahorse.
She was adopted and used to dance at Sapphire. just my speed.
do you wanna get some fucking pussy tonight.....THEN DRESS LIKE IT
a search helicopter?!
All I learned from that experience was that drinking scotch out of a crunk goblet was bad news.
I started drinking at around 8.. Started heavily drinking around 815.
to whom it may concern. if i am dead in colleens bed it is not her fault i slept in my scarf. my dads middle name is ronald.
Tis the season to puke in grandma's bathroom
THIS IS NO TIME FOR SHAME JOSH. JUST GOTTA GET IT IN. PURELY FOR LEVELING UP PURPOSES
Just woke up, shitty hungover, and realized that every article of clothing I slept in was backwards, bra included. Fuck you, gin. Fuck you.
I want to share a beverage of the alcoholic category with you, but I'm conflicted about getting out from under my covers.
We kind of crashed their funeral party. Oops.
I'm just concerned as to why his penis is two different colors.
For 15 minutes straight, he literally did every accent there was, from Russian to Bostonian. The issue: no one could determine whether he was sober, wasted, or anywhere in between
She made me baby bird juul smoke to her while we were fucking
Randomize
