So I answered the door in my underwear expecting my boyfriend. Instead I opened the door to Mormon missionaries. Do you think that was a sign from God?
woke up rolled in a yoga mat listening to enya. I'm never going back to Oregon ever again.
Dudeeeee, i ordered strippers for my party.
I ordered a moonbounce.
Fuck, you win.
my mom just cut me up lemons and limes so i would have some vitamins with my tequlia
He is now tagging himself in my pics from last year where he is barely visable in the corner. i feel like he's marking his territory.
I'm studying for my midterm by watching porn with Spanish subtitles. Surprisingly the words are still really distracting..
You need to stop having girl talk with the guys I'm sleeping with.
I accidentally got a lemon stuck in your bong. I was trying to make it taste good. Sorry
I broke a glass at the bar and ended up with blood on my forehead. I apparently kept screaming BLOOD like the little boy in that YouTube video.
Well, if it makes you feel any better I'll be drinking tequila and doing lines on Halloween. Just like old days.
Do you know anyone else that comes home with unexplainable injuries as many nights a week as we do?
Which emoticons convey sympathy for sleeping with someones bf ??
Went to a club yesterday was dirty dancing with this guy, reached back to move my hair and punched him in the face.
ANTI-GAME
I am so proud to call you my friend
Hey man, he's too drunk to remember what you said. What drugs are we buying and when should we expect them?
It's starting to get sad how I have this 'new beginning' feeling after every negative pregnancy test
Randomize
