Just spent the rest of my time at that bar trying to keep a probs underage closet gay from touching my kitten to prove he still likes girls.
He just told me his cousin just died and I look like her. Reconsidering the sex.
WHAT IS WRONG WITH SOCIETY?!?!?!
... says the kid who took a shit in my parents dishwasher...
I just had sex in a moon bounce. It is all down hill from here.
told weddin planner we wanted to work in ceremonial body shots before vows. she hasnt reponded yet...
I don't know how I'm gonna do that tomorrow. I feel like I was hit by the motorhome. LOL I WAS.
The woman that sang I Touch Myself died today. There's only one appropriate way to honor her memory.
I'm on the job.
I feel so nauseous and all I want is string cheese. My life never makes sense.
i went out at 5pm and cant remember anything until 3am...i was at the bus stop parking lot running around doing the Arrested Development chicken calls.
Last night you snap chatted some chick a pic of bottle service with the caption "send tits"
I got custody of our girlfriend in the breakup.
Stop jerking off to vines my recommended list on YouTube is getting weird.
We spent 45 minutes searching the crevices of our friend's car with a pair of tweezers trying to find the acid that we dropped
Fuck me first. Then we can craft and watch Terminator 2.
I called him the wrong name all night, yet I still got a ride home from the party and hooked up with the guy. I'm irresistible.
Randomize
