The money shot is kinda like the "The End" part of a children's book isn't it?
By the way, her vagina was so tight i was worried that i would be stuck forever
My bosses just told me they met their wives on one night stands. I'm stoked.
We sold so many girl scout cookies when we were little. What went wrong?
every facebook tagged picture of yours, you are either drinking, swimming or drunk in water
Just hit him with your car. I can guarantee he won't do it again.
In need of cum proof mascara. Don't judge me.
His dick looks just like him, taller than average, thick, and somehow always angry.
to have them in my mouth would be like meeting a unicorn while floating on a cloud of glitter
I wanted to make out with that blonde just so I could deck her boyfriend and make things interesting.
At least that would be something.
Exactly man. Who needs doctors when you have vodka and hot knives.
Only the sound of Friends and my gulping of wine are masking the sounds of my roommate getting laid
I'm making myself the patron saint of bisexuality
Are you playing pokemon in the dark and sexting? I can't be mad at that.
Went to waffle house after dropping my sister off at school and got into a heated argument with a drunk/hungover philosophy professor I will not name. I won the argument.
Randomize
