I have the sudden urge to buy a Snuggie and wear it to the grocery store.
good call on bringing her. it's always good to invite chicks who mix booze and prescription drugs.
Admittedly I was a little ambitious with some of the positions but you walked in during the worst of it.
It's really awkward to greet the pastor when I know I've licked chocolate syrup off his daughter's chest.
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he made transformer sounds every time he changed positions. how do you think it went?
just went trash diving in my work clothes for weed. A&E's intervention here i come.
I think I would be able to remember how to smoke but I can't seem to remember how to breathe.
Should I feel bad that I fucked her and made her ride my little brothers razor scooter home?
Being drunk at the hospital is better than i expected. I got to hide and play in the little kids waiting area. Btw no one is hurt
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Just break the ice by asking who had to take plan b this past semester
Out of desperation, I used the leftover sauce from my goat masala as a mixer for vodka shots.
GLITTER SLIP N SLIDE MUTHAFUCKAH~
He drinks vodka like healthy people drink water and I wanted to have his adopted gay babies. That's all. I'm going to go find him and potentially propose.
you don't understand it took me an hour and a half to escape that bed, I had to memorize his sleeping patterns.
I still blew him because I won't let allergies keep me from doing what I want. But I almost suffocated like 10 times.
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