he called me "his little blueberry cunt muffin"...how would that make you feel?
Brought out my three foot martini glass last night, that explains why I haven't left my bed all day long.
After we finished he asked if I knew if it was a boy or girl. Diet. Starts. Now.
He corrected me on my grammar when I came. Fuck English majors.
I just tried to sell my homemade "lightning bolt stencil for pubes" on Etsy.
I'm watching i used to be fat. I've been doing crunches for the last half hour yelling at the slut on tv to stop crying and do crunches.
Great I'll forever be branded as gym slut at the new gym.
I saw you sitting on top of my car trying to row back home... Did you make it?
Februarys looking very promising in the vaginal department
I tried to light my cup as a bong. I'm done drinking
Going to put that on my resume. "Only accidentally snapchatted my titties to all of my friends once."
is it acceptable to cross the border for sex?
We sexted for four hours straight. Is this really what my life has come to?
I'm at a sex party and there's a guy in an ICP jersey and trip pants. I see now that this is the moment in the movie of my life I recognize I have a problem
I'm her ex, so unless you're interested in her massive moral failings and open season vagina, I'm not your guy.
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