are we going to glenview for practice??
(3 hrs later) aids
where r u? what is story? im way too high right now
As heartfelt as your proposal was- I will NOT marry for money- especially to someone who still owes me $700. You r officially pathetic!!
HOLD UP I think she only has eight fingers...
I woke up this morning really drunk with my Christmas lights on and two owls in my bed.
I'm also annoyed at my horoscope for not warning me of my perils
Man, the last time I saw you you were giving me a thumbs up while being pulled out the bar by your belt from some girl.
this is probably the only time in my life that i would want to fuck thomas jefferson
If for any reason you were wondering if i was going to vomit at the airport today, the answer is yes.
I have got to stop getting laid on my lunch breaks. I AM SO HUNGRY RIGHT NOW.
i just like, need to vent to someone
Can we skip the part where I pretend to care and fast forward to the appreciative blowjob from you?
I'm approaching homosexuality at an increasingly alarming rate with each break up.
Well, we could've been at the bar taking a shot everytime my rash spread. But Noooooo. You had to go out with your non- girlfriend. Lame.
she's like a sexy human version of my cat. i can't catch her, and she keeps throwing up in the corners.
Cocaine and dance dance revolution for 4 hours. I consider last night a success.
I volunteer to be the person who breaks into the room and runs around naked and has to be escorted out by police.
Randomize
