i jus seen this fat chick walk buy look like she had don king coming out her arm pits..
There's an amish chick decked out in amish clothes on a cell phone staring at me.
I thought the fact that I took home a 42 year old with 3 kids would excuse my tardiness this morning because my boss is also 42 and has 3 kids. Boy was I wrong.
so stoned i ashed in my jack and coke like 4 times. drinking it anyway
WISH UPON A TAMPON
They constantly get farther than me.
tampons.
Everything is bigger in Texas. Including Colt's vagina.
I have a ginormous moral hangover. Strip club blues.
making your facebook status TEQUILA is like basically saying "im easy tonight. feel free to take advantage"
A DRUNK EMT IS BETTER THAN NO EMT!!!
She screams like she's just fallen out of a helicopter when she cums.
110% paid for our cab with a lap dance
I almost had to fight a bird, and you know how scared I am of birds. It found that Percocet that I lost in the grass last week, I threw out my back when I launched myself at that little fucker.
I will never look at a penis the same again. After that I will appreciate them so much more than I do. Makes me wanna kiss yours just for being pretty
We almost ended up sober because of u!!
operation Bang Australian Boy = oh so successful
Randomize
