Microwaved placenta is very unpleasant.
She rubs her butt on the bed & then she growls..
Next weekend I am getting a library card and staying my whore ass home.
I wish I could donate my sober boners to my whiskey dick
just saw a guy driving a atv down the highway in a tux.... only in Iowa...
So my girlfriend used a threesome to tell me she wanted to leave me for a girl... Not entirely sure how I should feel about that.
just printed out my drug dealers resume for him. guess the ecstasy scene slows down when kids move back home for the summer...
You had me at "mimosas" several texts ago.
definitely just forgot to put car in park in front of a police officer and ran into a bush.
I slept naked with a towel wrapped around my waist in case I pissed the bed again
he fell asleep naked and all I'm doing is staring at his weird balls
I just wanna be euthanized
Thas it
Is that your mom climbing in your window dude
I know... It's stupid... It's like, I have sex with his brother and bestfriend ONE time....
I know he’s married, but he’s still a guy with balls and a dick. He noticed my cleavage and stared at my ass. He’ll call.
Randomize
