did you get engaged???
some 7 year old just told me his favorite rapper was eminem and kim got what she deserved...god damn today's youth is in a dark period
Just woke up on a couch in the FIJI house with 2 missed calls from someone I saved in my phone as "Some DU Kid Named TJ Maybe"
you make me proud to be your friend
made out with three guys on the first night of college orientation, just imagine what joys all of next year will hold
so apparently mom and dad slept together on the first date
i guess it runs in the family.
Nothing like a little anal leakage to start off Sunday morning. Can't decide if that speaks well of my weekend or not...
Let me just inform you of my purse contents right now. Three cum rags, a sock full of cum, xanax, and a fake moustache. This is my life.
oh god all I remember is forward rolls down the corridor and all I have to show for it is "fit Romanian guy" saved in my phone
found a cell phone. in the freezer. wrapped in bologna. explain?
It just hurt to pee because he was fingering for fucking gold in there.
Rule of thumb; if you ask me if my tits are fake you will not get to touch them.
You should kill a bro for me and drag his carcass home so I can study him.
Doap. Just bring some lube and a slingshot. Not sure y we need the slingshot.
Who the fuck stole my fridge again
I like that you're more concerned about how I would find the time to clone you, than the fact that I have your blood.
Randomize
