i can totally tell he's high. he's having a conversation with my dog.
It's gotten to the point where even copying off yahoo answers is still way too much work.
New game: Step 1) Turn on ESPN. Step 2) Drink every time someone says "LeBron."
i put that paper plate back in your cabinet because i ate all the ketchup off and you can't even tell. you're welcome.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i get drunk faster, i spend less money on food, and i'm losing a shit ton of weight. depression and its pills are doing wonders for me
There are 27 signatures on my ass. What the hell happened last night?
Every time someone made a cup you congratulated them by letting them sign your ass.
Some guy offered you 100 bucks last night to suck your toes. I had to drag you away while you were yelling at me, "Stop money cock blocking me!"
That's just where I'm at in my life.
You made out with two different species that night
Just threw up in front of the Boy Scouts on my base. Welcome to the Navy kids.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Scary truckers and hobos. These are the men I attract
Glow Paint looked great for the Black Light Party last night, Tonight having a glow in the dark Pizza on my arm, not so much.
Also he said my vagina was sculpted by gods so there must be some feelings here.
I'm sorry I threw a frog in your car last night.
well it was naive of you to actually think you're the only bday sex he had lined up for him today. I'm just suprised he actually had a line forming outside of his room
Omg. I checked my purse this morning and I'm pretty sure drunk me stole a frat guys tube of crest 3d white toothpaste. Like that's pretty fucked up but I think if I knew someone did that to me I'd probably still invite them over again cuz I'd be like, "this girl's creative, and has good hygiene."
Randomize