I told u I don't really remember everything lol i pretty much remember not lasting as long as I norm and that I wore a condom, I hate condoms
I really want to fuck my wifes sister.
Ha Ha the cop that just pulled me over would like me to tell you hi!
Yes..we had amazing sex that I have a 50 percent chance of remembering.
I just undressed him with my eyes. And gave him a 10 inch penis. I hope its true.
just got tipped $5 to put a barbie in a waffle cone and drip caramel sauce on it while a group of dudes cheered and one took pics. 90% sure they were sober
and then you looked me right in the eyes and said "i just really wanna pet some horses right now"
You better fuck one or both of those bitches and bring me pictures that will make me uncomfortable
I can do at least one of those things.
My mouth feels like I've been chewing on leather and firecrackers for the past 3 days
Want to come over? I'm getting stoned and watching Netflix and making s'mores over a candle in my room
I told him if he ever gets a "wink" text from me after 10:00pm to assume I really mean "we should be hooking up by 2:30am"
Ive only just recently decided that NOT fucking you would be best for both of us.
EX BOYFRIEND'S TWINS WERE BORN TODAY. THIS CALLS FOR A MARG.
I'm done, I have no more memes or ways to ask for nudes, so yeah
B. I found a note on my phone and all it says is 'Fuck yeah im a racecar'
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