Don't tits with veins remind you of road maps?
I just got my poem back from the prof, there's a sticker of a girraffe on it and it says "you're awesome!" ... How can this even be considered real college?!?
All I remember was yelling at him, "Its becasue of people like you that it took us so long to get to the moon!"
she was using bread to soak up the vodka off the floor then proceeded to eat it.
Stop banging my friends. This is getting weird.
Stop being friends with hot 18 year old girls.
Currently shopping online for cardboard cutouts of various horror characters. That should teach me roommates to stop taking acid on Tuesdays.
he told her he was actually impressed that she had fucked more people in this house than the four dudes living in it.
There was confetti in my vomit this morning... Happy New Year!!
YET AGAIN, my financial planning for 2013 consists MOSTLY of eating chipotle as "brain food" and drinking Heavily before the Jeopardy contestant test.
Yeah, but she is forever sending my vagina on some sort of mission.
please come here right now, that girl who always gets her boob out is here and she brought taco bell
must go to store soon wiping with panty liner ugh
I DID NOT GO INTO HOURS OF STRENUOUS LABOR FOR YOU TO LOOK LIKE A DOMINATRIX BARMAID ON A WEEKDAY. AT LEAST SAVE IT FOR THE WEEKEND GDI.
In other news, I tore a tendon in my hand from giving my boyfriend handjobs so that's how my day is going
How did you get so drunk?
Alcohol.
Randomize
