We have a vodka soaked ShamWow with your name on it.
walked into the kitchen nd asked my mom what smells like tuna she replies" your sister" now i cant eat tuna...EVER!!!
This is the kind of period I feel I should name out of respect to the fact I might have just gotten lucky this time.....
I wish they made helmets for livers.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm really tired of your booty call eating my fruity pebbles.
It's never too late to be topless.
On a scale of your daily life to smuggling crack into the DR, how illegal is it?
I just want to steal his innocence through his penis. I really do.
I dont care if your mom convinced you it should be an abstinent christmas. I did horribly on finals and i'm out of booze, so you will get over her and FUCK. ME. NOW.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Just had sex in an ice hut. What have you done with your holiday break?
Do I get bonus points if I get lockjaw after a cosmic blowjob?
I should probably stop recommending my dentist to the different guys I'm seeing. That could be awkward in the future.
I JUST FARTED SO LOUD AND HARD I IMMEDIATELY TASTED IT
I NEED HELP. IM TRIPPIN BAWLS IN THE BACK OF MY MOMS CAR.
So do you guys remember Danny from Tinder?
Sorry I only remember personality traits, not names.
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