I asked her if she had any t-shirts of bands that didn't suck. I got a Sublime shirt and my answer.
her roommate was in the bathroom for over an hour so i volunteered to take the dog out and i shit in the bushes
so many types of cookies right now. i'm eating four kinds of cookies that i've made into larger cookie sandwiches. too high. whoa.
Why wouldn't u just let me ride the washing machine
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Exactly how does jacking off in my purse count as a 'early christmas present'?
Outta milk. Using rum instead for pancake mix. Drunk Thursday is a gooo
i wish his balls had a scratch and sniff sticker elsewhere so i would know before i even went down there
We ate a mysterious delivered pizza which no one ordered and then the wii wouldn't work so 20 of us watched porn on two laptops. Drunk took the awkward away.
Just gave my thesis presentation, pretty sure I made out with the admissions woman last night.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I consider my hand a solid 5. So if I'm dipping below a 7.5, I might as well go with old faithful.
I think he should just go away to a small penis island and never come back
MY TITS ARE PERFECTLY CALM.
Remember those two guys in our frat that would no homo everything? I just got an invitation to their wedding.
Im too stoned for my mom to be picking up hitch hikers. Help.
For someone who's supposed to be gay Greg is really good at seducing me into things I don't wanna do
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