Kicked off drink for Jesus month by puking in my mouth while talking to my priest...real cool
We didn't go..parents came home with patron wanting to play drinking games --we asked no questions
normally i'm against accepting campers on facebook but this one saw me giving head to another counselor and didn't say shit about it to my boss so i feel like shes earned the right to look at my sloppy drunk pictures
so. which one of us is going to pay for the neighbors new window? it cracked when i threw the bottle at it but smashed when you threw yours.
Well he paid for dinner, so I paid for the Plan B, but the parking ticket I got is totally his responsibility.
Vegas is awesome. Its like you have a kentucky accent girls automatically assume you don't have herpes.
There's nothing like puking in the airport on the way TO Vegas. Something tells me i pregamed a little too hard.
God, for the last time, no I did not break my nose doing a keg-stand just for a nose job.
My vag has a bald spot. That is so middle aged. Is this my midlife crisis?
He can spot Burberry from half a bar away. He's not into vag
They're making him take his shirt off cause they think he's the bouncer. We're in his backyard.
Responsible roommate: 1. Someone who takes a huge shit at work so as not to clog the toilet at home.
she made me cum so hard I dislocated my jaw. I'm keeping her
taking shots alone in my kitchen before I go learn to give a lapdance. when did this become my life?
i really didnt think i was that drunk last night but the txts from unknwn #s that say i like your lace panties are def telling me otherwise
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