ill give you a foot job if you come over before 4
just took a pee in my own yard...decided i had to poo..only got a dingle berry....wiped it away with my finger..help me...my mom AND dad are home.
His little brother walked in on us. Six times.
If we're like this now and women reach their sexual peak in their 30's, I can't even fathom what our futures hold.
I found a fried uncrustable on the table from last night.
I was trying to make tacos and friends but there was a major language barrier.
I just want to know who nailed the chicken nugget to the door.
Watching frozen planet. There's a beach master sea lion with about 50 sea lion bitches fighting another sea lion for said bitches. It's a bloody battle. Dude. You have over 50. Share.
Check the bible. I hear he keeps his weed in leviticus.
If they weren't representing Obama and the White House, they definitely would've punched me in the face.
Do you know how hard it is to was the scent of sex from your hair in a gas station bathroom?!
Officially crunch time. It's my last year of grad school and I've yet to get blown in a school library. The parking garage was less than a block away though.
I'm pretty sure I just gave myself third degree burns from punching my pizza.
all i want is a guy to go down on me while i eat peanutbutter from a jar
Apparently I told him the people made me order taco bell I didn't even want it. And then proceeded to turn off all the lights and sit at the kitchen table in the dark and told him not to look at me.
Randomize
