I was about to buy asher roth's album and then i realized he was a ginger. can't support
Bret has after-school detention for writing Brianna has a stinky vag on the ground at recess.
my mom just poured a water bottle of wine to take my dog on a walk...
this girl is having heart failure because she lost her feather...a gypsy blessed it in turkey. Not sure im high enough for this
Apparently, I woke him up at 4AM, and yelled "you're mad because we don't have sex," while grabbing his dick. Then immediately fell back asleep, dick in hand.
This is the first time since last march I'm gonna be going to a class for more reasons than wanting to bone the girl sitting next to me.
the repo guy said it was the first time he'd ever started to repo a car with someone fucking inside of it. he might have said 'doing it' instead.
When I realised he had a girlfriend I just started telling them about my ex and how I write poetry about him. Which I then read to them. They just gave me pity looks and left me to finish my spliff alone.
The bong is packed and it's taco Tuesday come over
I'LL COME GET YOU. GOTTA FIND A SUIT THAT COVERS TIT BRUISES FIRST.
My friend had to carry her up the steps on his shoulder, and then she got up, found an ironing board and set it up in my friend's room just in case he needed to iron things.
Was your bare penis on or around my blanket?
Sounds good. I'm hoping to have my life together by next week but you never know I guess.
i think you might have coined the term "slightly awkward pyromania"
Will you PLEASE get your mom to stop telling me I'd make a great husband? She knows I'm gay, right?!
I know, but she really likes you. Have you met my brother yet?
Randomize
