he just sent me a friend request on facebook. i wish it were physically possible to vomit on him through the internet.
guy picked up a cops taser, thing shot him in the neck, he went down and pissed himself, cop started laughing and hasnt called an ambulance.
she was on her period so I asked if she wanted to make ass babies
During the middle of giving him head, he flashes his phone and says "I like to watch."
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She finally woke up and said, "Me- nothing, potato peeler- 1." And rolled back over.
When you put my balls in your mouth i just want to buy you expensive gifts...you know what i mean?
How would your parents feel if we installed a sex swing?
Three months into our sexual relationship, he comes out with "Your body is efficient". WTF do I do with THAT?
You cant use biscuit as a chaser
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm pretty sure our sex is better than most foods and that says a lot too bc I really like food
This makes me appreciate being single with no prospects.
I love you man but my hope is that you will not wake me up again by pissing on me
He walked upstairs in nothing but his boxers and drunkenly asked my brother for a condom....so much for a good first impression.
Being drunk at Chick-fil-A is a dystopian experience
Do you remember punching the light out in the bathroom? I didn't, and that was at bar 2 of 4…
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