no seriously. she's even got the premier of the real L word on her calendar at work. that lesbian.
See, not all bad decisions involve my penis.
just had to make the 420 edibles gluten free and kosher for passover.
Just did a line with lance bass. Only in NY
Never thought I'd say this but I just want to go home, ice my balls, and pop a Vicodin.
So he ended up throwing a watermelon that he stole from the cafeteria saying "if i cant have it no one can" of the 5th floor.
Got him to take a shot from the drip pan on the George Forman. He's gone now.
You took my underwater blowjob virginity.
You said you were uncomfortable with your body and then you started making whale noises
They got mad when I cut the pizza with an x-acto knife. Oh well, more for me then.
Watching the awkward tinder date at the table next to mine is the most action I've had in months, so there's that.
Over 14,000 people at my school and the kid I went home with last night is IN MY FUCKING LECTURE
I can't believe I haven't fucked an Elvis impersonator yet.
woke up, covered in gummy bears, with a note that said "the gummy army won"
I'm going to get him a gold star sticker and put it on his dick
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