after everytime she pucked, she insisted on us all giving her high fives
Nothing quite says America like barbecue and beer at 9 in the morning.
rethinking that breast reduction surgery... i'm tired of drunkenly explaining the scars to guys who don't really give a shit
Just found my old bop it. So many drinking game possibilities
You guys bombarded us in the bathroom and that kid whipped his dick out and peed in the sink.
And tell the hostess not to worry, she's narcoleptic and fell asleep on the way to the bar, but she'll be fine in a few minutes.
It's okay I didn't send any nudes tonight so we are safe *inserts photo of a baseball umpire doing the safe signal*
I successfully navigated a full, lengthy interaction with my dad in which he never asked me if I was freshly baked. 10 points.
8 minutes into the New Year and and I've already sent a nude...new year, new me?
This whole Rob and Chyna drama is giving me trust issues. I'm about to text my ex and be like if you haven't already deleted my nudes, can you?
It was a fun night! I woke up with a boyfriend, again....
She was crying and pulled the collar of her shirt up to blot the tears. And then she just kept her head there. And stopped crying. "My boobs are just too amazing for me to cry." her words not mine please help she's still in that position
my night went from a boring school play to hotboxing a car with 3 criminals
I'm gonna write a book entitled "when you give a cop a cookie..."
I don't even want to know.
I'm at this party and a blind kid just walked in and asked "where is the fucking pong table"
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