I jusy said out loud "gingers unite in the middle of the night"
I just woke up covered In blood, I have cuts all over my body, I can't find my clothes from last night, I'm still wasted, i'm pretty sure I have a sprained ankle, and the best part is, I have absolutely no recollection of what led to this. THAT'S why vodka is the greatest drink in the world.
eating mexican with the mother in law. this meal made her decide to tell us about her colon cleansing diet
Now for something completely different: ive figured out how to eat a banana without insinuating something completely naughty
You've had your dick in my mouth. I don't think there are all that many barriers in our friendship at this point.
It's like my butt was the only innocence I had left and now I don't even have that.
I woke up with the suicide hotline number saved as 'Hot Guy Josh'
I did something similar high once. I stopped like 30 feet in front of a stop sign because I felt like it was running towards me and I started crying. Got out my car and hugged it and told it not to run away people need it.
She just rubbed her face up and down my six pack cooing. Equal measure of weird and hot.
im not trying to sound dramatic, but im covered in microwavable lasagna
The fun I thought I would be having now when I was six is vastly different from what I am currently doing. Hurraaay sex and vicodin.
my mom just told me I should hit it and quit apparently she does not like this new girl
My party ended early and I have a mountain of shrimp and weed
Dude I cant right now. Were talking about pickles.
So. Much. Porn.
Randomize
