I just walked by a ginger with a mullet. I repeat GINGER mullet. So help us God.
Matt just took me to visit my puke stain from 2 weeks ago at the train station...I'm fucking impressive
If you can't accept "I'm sorry I was mean to you" bjs from 19 year old girls, then who can you
found used condoms and an omlet in my uggs. I'm disgusted but not surprised.
hes the hot one from work who thought i was dead after my party
I'm still tasting pancake mix. I think this may actually be a serious medical problem...
Some old truck driver just made me smell his beard I hope tonight turns out better
I think online classes were designed around the concept of day drinking.
Just smokin in the creek with some deer, they like the smoke, I know.
I have discovered my latent superpower. If a friend is dating a bi chick they will inevitably try and talk me into a threesome.
I don't know if should be sitting on a toilet or kneeling in front of it
You had 10 drinks. On a first date.
I just masterbated then started bawling.
Well, I was asked to leave the Waffle House for "being to physical" so I think that option is off the table
i feel like a cleansing fire is the only way to purify the house
The night went downhill somewhere between the time I was triple fisting smirnoff and when I was throwing up in the yard in nothing but my bra while he talk to me about mashed potatoes
After he came, he took a two minute power nap and then fucked me for another 45 minutes. He is a machine!
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