Just lost my virginity while listening to rick astley. torn between horror and jubilation
possible father of this baby just finished his test first in a lecture of 200 people. other possible father finished about 100th.
I'm rooting for #1.
Is it bad that now when i read ingredients in the food I eat i only read it as shrooms instead of mushrooms ?
i'm in workout clothes. this is progress.
I walk in to see her roommate half naked on their stripper pole. I knew I was home.
This is worse than the time I broke into Subway to steal bread.
I shouldn't have had sex with her. I feel that I may have opened a pandora's vagina
we boned then he told me that he had a thing for my gay roommate. worst night ever
He fucked volume into my hair. It was amazing.
who am I kidding I don't have any dignity. Plus we're not doing a porno, we're just doing random things naked
Still had my bottle opener ring on. Started to give him a hand job. LOL
Ugh. This is the type of hangover that all other hangovers want to grow up to be.
He chipped a tooth on the first beer. You know the night is just going to be a slushy mess after that.
Russian roulette. Between salvia and weed. You in?
FUCK YOU MAN
It's getting to the point where my ability to get dick pix during the work day is impressing even me. Take that, adulthood!
Randomize
