I DID IT WITH MY SOCKS ON!
So..he puked on my dress and I had to walk back to the dorms in his little sisters Scooby Doo pajamas.
I don't know you.
If no ones going to say it, then I will. Vanessa Hudgens boobs are weird looking
I told him that he could only go home with me if he didn't talk or tell me his name
I asked her if she wanted to make this a permanent exclusive thing instead of a fuck buddy thing, and she just looked at me like I'm an idiot.
That's because you are an idiot.
After throwing up, the toothpaste tasted so good. Thank you for not letting me eat it.
Don't feel bad sweetie, you're not the only classy one in town. I'm still driving around with that tupperware of tequila in my cup holder from last week's Margarita Monday.
Hey he's not bad, although he did have a glass eye
In other news, I apparently ate my retainers while rolling last night.
First time at a gay bar. I found a surrogate AND sperm donor! The surrogate is straight, so it evens out.
We were fucking while the tv was on, and one of those animal cruelty commercials came on. We then switched over and started doing it doggy style. It was then that I realized that I'm going to hell.
you were angry and didn't have anything else to throw so you threw a breakfast burrito...?
You're emotionally mature, right? I said you were.
I have at least four things in my line of sight that have Kermit the Frog on them in my dorm. Does that answer your question?
This may sound strange but do you have my pants?
You tried to trade them for some girls skirt... So she has them...
Is there a subtle way to tell him he needs to hydrate? 8 years of yoga and kegels. He has no idea what I’m going to do to him this weekend
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