Worst sexual experience IN MY LIFE. And now i know why it makes jesus cry.
I wonder who the first pervert was, and if he would be proud of me for advancing his art form by so much
and that's why he's hiding in the taco suit
My mom and I were trying to explain to my sister what an uncircumcised penis looks like. We had some minor disagreements.
There's a mirror laying face down next to me. A looooong full body mirror. By the looks of it it fell off the wall last night and was within centimeters of shattering on my head. Awesome.
I'm that hungover student in class ... On a wednesday morning
Omg I think I'm in the wrong class
my binge eating and her being stoned all the time has reduced us to a bowl of chinese candies, frozen bacon and a stick of butter, we do however have enough alcohol to start our own liquor store.
Everyone loves nachos, first of all. Second, Ke$ha is entirely appropriate for the age grou too young to realize she probably has Hep C.
Walking down the street, Bro bumping to 'still' by dre. Dropped his trash on the ground and aggressively sped up when his light turned green. If you still had love for the streets you wouldn't of fucking littered. Took everything for me not to yell at him. I know you would've.
Simultaneously sexting while making brunch plans. Multitasking at its gayest.
Hey, it's all about finding the bright side. And boobs are definitely a bright side.
WHERE THE FUCK IS MY ARM DO YOU HAVE ANY IDEA HOW DIFFICULT IS IS TO TYPE WITH ONE HAND
while giving me head, she stopped, looked up at me smiling and said "ill never be able to look at bananas the same way again" and then went back to work.
wow bdsm is so cute
So...I'm pretty sure I have officially determined that reverse cowgirl is the only position possible to have sex in my smart four two
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