my bed looks and feels like i need to buy plan b.
I just left the house and 2 chicks are in the kitchen making breakfast. Might want to get up.
I'm up, no shirt, and staring at a breakfast casserole. Who are these girls?
...and the foreplay consisted of me threatening to cut off his hand if he didn't remove it from my back.
I cleared a drunken path to my bed for you. If you hit clothes you've gone too far.
Its funny how you denied every part of the text except " you hate fat ppl"
Revised rule: don't put your dick in the general vacinity of mental instability.
Not even dry humping. Not even a little bit.
So the next three days will be henceforth known as the 'celebration of the end of the most irresponsible years of my life' be prepared to wake up naked in a ditch.
Orientation leader success, day 1: incoming freshman just ate out his first sorority girl. I gave him a 7/10.
Lets just say I tried to pinky promise the cop... So I was fucked up.
Last night you referred to my vagina as a gym for your penis
Sorry about the confusion with the nudes last night that was rude
im shaving my vagina and listening to frank sinatra, im coming over after
it wasnt weird until his dog watched upclose as i put a tampon in
Last time we had sex i was dressed like a ninja turtle and someone else was in our bed, so this time should be fine.
I hope ur kiddin
wish i was
Last night I realized I made a dick appt 2 MONTHS IN ADVANCE!!!!....... WHO THE HELL DOES THAT!?!? LMAO!
Randomize
