Dude?? where did you go after Wildcats last night? Last I heard you went off with one of the girls we danced with?
Negative - This is his GF, Bobby is in Jail for a DUI. Thanks for the info.
He is an equal opportunity slut.
how ive managed to spend 100$ at an open bar is beyond me.
dude, never take two tylenol pm and smoke three bowls. i feel like i'm covered in cold ants.
MRIs the morning after St. Patty's Day was a poor choice.
Apparently I spent my 300 dollar tax return by ordering ramen on amazon last night. Please tell me this will somehow pay off in the long run.
Snorting lines of xanex off the back of my grandparents toilet before church. Thinking of u.
I somehow ended up with a bottle of red wine in one hand and white in the other and would drink them at the same time. Ruined
I mean I don't object to weird looking penis as long as it gets the job done. I just need to get it in. I'm gonna be humping chairs soon.
All these girls I talk to are like I've never had a hangover and I'm like you don't drink right here let me show you
Starting the day with sex, coffee and productivity are what the founding fathers intended
Either I think of sex like a man, or all the men in Vegas are women.
He jizzed all over my ID badge. HR is gonna be pissed...
I want a shirt that says, "I'm sorry for the things I said when it was Taco Tuesday"
I got dominos and had to stop whilst eating and take a moment of silence for how good it was
Randomize
