They have edible shot glasses at target.
There really is a God.
And then I have a slight inkling that I went up to the bar and tried to order the bartender.
I think i'm just gonna start shot-gunning everything that comes in can form.
Nothing says I've got my life together like buying a jumbo bottle of 7$ wine in sweat pants on a monday night
The stripper from Delilahs paid the desk clerk to find out my room #. Either Im doin something very right or she's doing it worng.
The last thing I remember is pushing my way into the bathroom and dumping a 40 on him. We havent talked since.
He met a random girl on the bus home and decided to go to Spain with her. The blackout decisions are becoming internationally epic. He has work in the morning.
Party was cancelled. Me and my dog are high as tits. Wanna go roam the outlet mall?
Good thing I left work early to shave my balls because traffic sucked ass, which I was written up for and my reason on the write was "to close on time, have to shave balls for date tonight". Oh yea, that was a bold statement right there
Remember when we were coked out at that house and we were trying to meditate in the bathroom? Who's house were we at?
Trying to do the walk of shame over here WHY are there a hundred ppl on the el?! Thank god I pulled a summit and wore casual clothes I even stopped by the farmers market and bought some squash
I mean I've seen her tits but I don't know what her voice sounds like
Sexting just isn't as much fun once you learn how bad he is in bed...
Hes back in his dorm room dancing naked with 3D glasses on.
and he said that acid doesnt really do anything to him...
Last time he showed up for Christmas he went on and on about backpacking somewhere and getting ghonnorreah twice.
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