okay pat passed out under dana's car
Do you ever close your eyes when your having sex with your girlfriend and pretend she didn't get fat after high school?
I woke up this morning with a bag of pepperonis in my bed.... and my facebook status was "pepperonis"
i dont know everytime i see her teeth i get erectile disfunction
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Had sex on a washing machine in a pool of beer. Can you say success.
Cops came. Forced us to take the "Honk and We'll Drink" and the "Free Shots to Father's of Freshman Daughters" signs down. Before we did, someone honked and the cop said, "Aren't you gonna drink?" They then told us to move the party inside by ten.
Glow parties are what I live for
Your priorities in life astound me
We got back from Mcdonalds and literally 5 minutes of being in your room, you wanted to go back because "We haven't been yet."
Yesterday I dumped him, went out for my birthday, hooked up with someone else, and today he still fed my cat. Living with your ex ain't so bad . . .
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
There's someone howling in the parking lot. Haha.
My mom is currently drinking alone in our kitchen singing the Dixie Chicks to herself so, hey, alcohol is forever and we should not be shamed for its use.
DELETE THAT VIDEO OF ME MAKING OUT WITH THAT RUG NOW
I think my pickup truck has been used for the sex... This doesn't sit right with me.
I someohow managed to lose my butt plug in tne midst of moving to B.C. and I am not a happy camper.
I'm about to do something based solely on the fact that a fortune cookie told me to. This may not end well.
Randomize