some 7 year old just told me his favorite rapper was eminem and kim got what she deserved...god damn today's youth is in a dark period
One of my students just said I have "big mommy parts". Even third graders know that my tits are too big. God I love em.
I say we get drunk before the exam tomorrow. At least then we have a valid excuse for failing.
I just watched her pee in a trashcan, im still probably going to fuck her, what does that say about my standards
A picture just appeared on facebook. I am puking in the toilet, you are next to me puking in the sink. I think we have our christmas card.
She told me my parents were awesome for leaving me uncircumcised...
I want to bury your face in my vagina. Possibly by force. I will try not to suffocate you though.
Oh my god I'm so bored. The virgin is so disinteresting when I'm not trying to cum on her face.
ever have one of those nights where you feel like you should leave the house with your insurance card? that is tonight, my friend.
seriously considering responding to a craigslist ad for a lesbian cunninlingus instructor...at this point i'm so desperate for a job that i'm willing to switch teams.
I am in serious pain and you're making dick jokes. I hope you wind up with crotch rot.
i woke up wearing a life jacket, holding on to a footlong hotdog, and had on a mr. hustle 1995 shirt on
good night
If i'm not ready, make sure i'm alive. Not passed out dead in the shower.
I'll still do breakfast to celebrate the life you've had.
I'm about to take plan-b with a glass of wine and ramen noodles. I cannot decide who will hurt more...my vagina, my kidneys or my pride.
She climbed in my window blew me and left. She's in my phone as the blow job fairy
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