Holy shit! This guy had his hands and feet handcuffed and was scooting across the interstate and we almost hit him because it was so dark. I hate Louisiana.
This bar is like a mediocre whore house....but free
I don't know what's more sad having a rewards account at a liquor store or already racking up 273 dollar points since january
Dude, I swear her tits are going to give me a concusion.
if i actually bought condoms for every time i had sex, i could single handedly fix the economy
I started making breakfast to subdue the hangover and last of the shrooms and only got as far as eating a half frozen pierogi out of a dixie cup.
Just stabbed myself in the face trying to lick melted cheese off a kitchen knife.
Just be aware that next year I will probably try to seduce you to avoid going to the gym
Hey ER girl, its the EMT you beat at blowjobs shots last night.
That is the scariest sentence I have ever read.
Get the cougar, get the cougar, get the cougar. Act like an injured baby deer. She will either eat you alive or nurse you back to health either way its still sex.
I was puking in the bathroom when my fake tooth fell off of my retainer so I just walked out of the bar and didn't say goodbye to my date
if i do community service solely to impress a guy, everyone wins, right?
except your soul
Just had sex in the room next to my parents. Heading back to school ASAP.
She grabbed a $20 bill out of my hand, calling it a lap dance coupon and then she dragged me into her bedroom. I think I’m in love
when ur drunk laser tag is all fun n games. try it high and all of the aliens in the galaxy want you dead.
Randomize
