My pussy is not your playground.
today is my dealer's birthday. i dont know whether to give him the day off or call him saying happy birthday ill take a quarter please
well, 500 bucks doesn't grown on trees, and i need that bear suit for any chance of vagina access.
He gets a blow job and all I get is a huge scar on my arm ... how is this fair?
My Mom printed off all of my Augusts text messages. Apparently I've been drinking WAY too much and having an intermediate drug problem. I have to go home everyw weekend for the rest of the semester
Def something wrong w taking plan b with your daughters juice box
Zach, it's Lisa from work. Was that you yeiling BALLS DEEP at me on I-25 or is it just something about me that invites that from rando creeps?
I woke up in a bunk bed beside two Brazilians dude you have no idea how happy I was
The annual Father's Day Wake and Bake has been canceled due to lack of hustle.
He jumped into a mall fountain. I don't think that warrants a lifetime ban or the disorderly persons charge, but whatever. Fuck you Pennsylvania.
When you're done railing that chick, there is still half a pizza and some ninja turtle mac and cheese down here if you want
Was it you I was with where I saw a guy open a beer with his butt?
I just brought her a lipstick taser. So just remember that the next time you get smart with her
I had to explain to the doctor why I'm peeing blood. He still didn't believe a girl would have that much sex... You could feel the judgement forming in the room when I went into the details...
Damn, well a girls gotta get laid too
Can you recommend a quality dick? I haven’t had a good sexing in a while
Randomize
