My dad just drunkly made a toast in front of my entire extended family "to my daughter the recent and sucessful college and to my son the drunken whore-monger"
This is going to be BYOBM Vegas trip: Bring Your Own Bail Money.
if the future wants me to fuck him, then i guss i have to
Then pass out next to me, I'll be under a pong table or a park bench. Really depends on the weather during Mifflin
Spring Fling is on 420. The theme better be 'Flower Child'.
I want there to be fog machines and unicorns.
His water bottle is sitting on my coffee table like a monolith dedicated to the things he is not doing to my vagina.
IM BACK TOGETHER WITH MY BF AND HERE YOU ARE SUCKING DICK FROM 2009
I LACK THE NECESSARY BRAIN FUNCTIONS TO BE ABLE TO PROPERLY RESPOND TO THAT
Smargarita sloshedurday tomorrow around 2
Bring a helmet for your liver
congratulations on joining the accidental bisexual club
We banged in his car behind the burrito place. Google Maps keeps asking me to rate my visit. 5/5, would cum again.
i am currently wearing a bowl of frosting on my head. i do not regret any of my life choices leading to this moment
Going through his web history. 10 hours ago he searched "how to put on condom with your teeth" I think I'm getting it tonight.
Just filed for child support I hope he gets the paperwork on Father's Day
it's okay that you two hooked up in the family bathroom at the mall.. i just pray to god you were not making a family in the family bathroom..
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