remember that time i ran away from the bar and passed out in a street cot?
neither do i
and this is why I hate my dad. He got 25x more angry with me when I wanted to drive a different route then he suggested to get to his house (more scenic- thus more enjoyable) then he did when I told him I was driving drunk with 4 people in the car and I got my 5th speeding ticket last night.
you kept wiggling your finger at everybody at the party telling us this is how he fingered me. you seemed pretty upset about it.
I walk in and my mom takes one look at me and just says, ".... Consequences"
this will be a night to untag.
As i lay in bed, clutching my face, i'm starting to believe your dick in my eye story.
Mission get my tooth back and find a new dick to ride starts after i sleep for the first time in 2 days.
I just saw that cheerleader from u of arkansas that I hooked up with over spring break on espn. My parents would be so proud.
The guy who just got ate on True Blood had the same balls as you.
I taught her to play Monopoly. She sold me her bra to keep from going bankrupt.
we dropped acid in chinatown. worst. idea. ever. too many colors. and nobody has any idea where steve is.
You knocked on your freshman year room door, told the kids who opened it "I own you", and attempted to force-feed them everclear.
I've been sleeping with the same person for about two months now, I think I know a little bit about stability and commitment.
I ACCIDENTALLY SUPER LIKED HIM. I JUST DELETED TINDER FROM MY PHONE.
They tried to get you to drink water and all you kept shouting was, "NO MORE LIQUIDS OF *ANY* KIND."
Randomize