He said we were driving the golf cart through the woods screaming 'iceroad truckers' for four hours in the dark
Apparently throwing up on your own cape is still a party foul
can you put a coffee maker in the dish washer? yo know what, nvm i want to be surprised
I'd rather say I'm a whore then admit it's his child. Its that bad.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
It's official. I now have that "I was drunk and needed the money" college story to share later in life.
I feel like I owe it to them to wear pants.
I mean you were pretty drunk at one point you asked if we could have a glass of water ready for you in case you choked while bobbing for apples, but you said grape juice was preferable. You can't choke on an apple btw
i have officially banned the recreational use of bayonets.
i puked in the 2nd best shower and the couple fucking in the 1st didnt even pause so you might wanna hold off on that for a while
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I lowered my expectations when he started off saying "ah missionary, my specialty"
So I bet a guy he could drink two irish car bombs faster than me and I lost. now he gets to name our first son. sory.
I don't want any of this. I just want big sausages.
Right now you and beer are my only friends.
it's like my eyeball is being humped by my eyelid
When the nurses wouldn't let him smoke in the hospital he decided to just roll around on the floor.
Randomize